This rant may contain Spoilers for Stardew Valley from Concerned Ape and Chucklefish Games. Mind you, I haven’t gotten too far in the game, but if you want everything to be a surprise, you might not want to read this.
So I have been drawn into another game that I really don’t have time for. A few hours later, and I feel like someone really needs to take it away from me.
Like really, really needs to take it away:
Yes I am Farmer Crumbum of BumCrumb, and this is my faithful companion ButtNugget.
…And I am a cheating, cheating dastard.
So for those of you who do not recognize the game, this is Stardew Valley, another farming type game such as Animal Crossing, Rune Factory, or Harvest Moon.
It seems innocent enough, but I am certain some sinister shit is going on. At least there better damn well be something freaky going on otherwise why am I wasting hundreds of hours on this shit???
Weird spooky noises howl when it’s dark or when it rains, promises of your dead grandfather coming back to visit you three years later.
To a LITERAL FUCKING CULTIST CHURCH JUST HANGING OUT IN THE GENERAL STORE:
Some weird ass freaky shit is going on here I tell you. I am now off to an Egg Festival, coincidentally on the 13th of the month…where the winner will no doubt be sacrificed to some ancient god.
There also appears to be a turf war between the common folk and the apparently all evil Joja corporation, which the game make sure you distrust within an instant. But I don’t know, these folk seem sketchy af. They’re too happy to be trusting…
So in conclusion, this game is great if you have a LOT of time to kill. Progress will take forever, and I don’t have forever. Hence why I am using a trainer. The economy is pretty ridiculous, i.e 2000 gold for a simple backpack upgrade, and your crops go for like 10 gold a piece, when seeds are like 9 and take four days to yield.
Story seems to be a typical “BOOOO MODERNISM SUCKS! GO BE A HERMIT AND LIVE OFF THE LAND YOU ARE BETTER OFF THAT WAY!!! YOU ARE SHALLOW IF YOU LIKE COMPUTERS” Which just rubs me the wrong way.
